Dear Mother/Father God,
I pray that this experience will help those who love Steele and love each other to draw nearer to each other and help to heal the wounds that exist in all of us. Throughout all of this, I have come to understand the concept of love in a whole new dimension: I now firmly believe that love is the healing balm of the soul. They say you are born alone and you die alone, but I realise that’s not true. If you feel love, when you die, you realise that God is holding your hand (his love is constant and unconditional), and all of those who you feel loved by are also holding your hand. I think Steele feels that way now. He has found strength and faith in God and he has only now come to experience my love firsthand. It’s one of the many blessings that have come from this experience. My whole life I was oblivious to the warmth of God’s love that I experience every morning when the sun rises. I realise that when you share yourself with someone else, even the most mundane expression, like saying how your day was, that is a perfect expression of love and it’s a gift to the person you share with. Steele and I shared so much together and even in this time of trial we continue to create new memories of love every day.
I have come to understand the concept of peace and ‘the peace that passeth understanding’ in a whole new dimension: When your heart is silent and your soul is at peace, then all is well. Steele has known peace all his life, and he didn’t even realise. Everyone who knows him, even if only for a little while, always comments about his peaceful and fortitudinous demeanor. And even though he felt so many torments in his life, his soul was always well. Desiderata says: “Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence…Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit…You are a child of the universe…And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.” They say the problem with the rat race is that even when you are winning, you are still a rat. When you are at peace with your soul, you don’t feel like a rat in the rat race; you feel like a Godly creation; a King and Queen among men.
I have come to understand the concept of forgiveness in a whole new dimension. I believe forgiveness is something that our ‘ego’-driven selves denies our ‘spirit’ driven selves; it prevents us from giving the gift of forgiveness to ourselves and it prevents us from giving the gift of forgiveness to others. And where there is no forgiveness, there is no commitment to express Perfect Love to ourselves and others. And to deny love feels worse than any other sin or torment in the world.
Dear Mother/Father God, I pray that this experience will help those who love Steele and love each other to practice forgiveness and benefit from the healing that this release of love brings. I say practice because I know it’s hard and our ‘ego’-selves will always have a reason why we are justified in our stubbornness. Steele never felt the complete experience of love until now, perhaps because all along he was withholding forgiveness from himself, for all the things he felt he failed in life. I couldn’t possibly count the number of times I told Steele that I loved him. But in the stubbornness of his mind, his ‘ego’ self made him feel not good enough for my love. And in this time of trial, when he is at his lowest, and feeling as though he has nothing to give, he has come to realise that we come on this earth with all that we need inside of ourselves; and we are perfect and infinite and divine creations of the Divine Creator. When you come to feel that way about yourself and give yourself and others the gift of forgiveness, you can after 32 years experience the feeling of true love.
The saying that ‘you don’t know what you have until it’s gone’ is as true and constant as God’s love. So Dear Mother/Father God, I pray that this experience will help those who love Steele and love each other to draw nearer to each other; come to understand the wisdom we receive when our heart is silent and our soul is at peace; offer a gift of forgiveness and let their ‘spirit’ driven selves lead in perfect and complete love.
This I ask as a gift to each and every one who loves Steele, and as a gift to each and every one they love.
In your Holy Name, and in the name of our African Ancestors, Thank You and Perfect Love!