Dear Steele: I hear you are real busy up there, pulling strings to keep the family together. You now how some people can hear what spirits say. I wonder if when I talk to you, you hear what I say. Turns out, my summer is booked out too.
I was gonna say a prayer tonight and ask God for something, but I decided not to. Doesn’t seem to make sense, asking for what you want; there are no guarantees and there is no rhyme or reason. People say God answers prayers, but I think God does what he wants, and sometimes it turns out we both want the same thing. I figure I’m better off just thanking God for what I get and live in a state of gratefulness rather than want, save myself from disappointment.
I am starting to figure out how I would answer the question: ‘what would I want you to do if it were me gone and you here?’ So, what would I want for you? I would want you to put that new camera into action, traveling around Jamaica and taking pictures of all the ‘Things Jamaican’ you saw: build up your portfolio, so you could publish a book of photography. I would want you to sleep 8-hours a day, and quit that 18-hour workday habit of yours. I would want you to go to the Student’s Union every Friday and smoke and drink and eat pork and tell stories about me. I would want you to go a ‘GoGo’ club and imagine me as your private dancer. I would want you to spend a weekend in Bimini with a couple of your friends. I would want you to go and visit your grandmother. I would want you to overcome your fear of boats and learn to swim. That’s all I got so far.
Everyone wants to talk about the future. That’s why I’m staying away. I completely understand why you didn’t want to talk about the past, or the future. I like to hear about the past, I just don’t like to talk about the past. People seem to have run out of stories, or they like to keep them to themselves. We should get to hear some good stories next month from your St. George’s brothers. They are real soldiers. They’re planning this fundraising party next month for the scholarship fund they set up in your name. They mean serious business. I like that. I know you can guess who is leading the pack. We’re gonna make sure people not only remember your name, but they remember your face, and your smile, and your sense of humor, and your glow, and your passions, and your laugh, and your heartbeat.
If you can hear me, I miss you and I love you lots. Thanks for blessing me with your light and your love.