When I am dead I would like people to know that when I was approximately 9,008 days old I realized something about my life: I was ready to die. I was no longer afraid of death or dissatisfied with my life, or unhappy about my achievements. In fact, I longed for death, not in a desperate suicidal way, but in a state of fulfillment and acceptance. I decided that while I continued to receive this unsolicited gift from God I would make something of myself; I would become a treasure hunter. I called my journey a treasure hunt, because I wanted to see life’s experiences as pieces of precious gold designed to enrich my life in some way. Once I named my journey I felt a lot better about my apparent state of inertia, as if my life now had some direction.
Days later I decided I needed to bring some more purpose to my treasure hunt. I decided that just like an unborn fetus I would go through nine-months of gestation, after which I would give birth to myself. After all I was dead.
So that is where I am at, in prenatal development until January 17, 2010, when I am coming out, perhaps premature, over baked, deformed, or perfect and complete, but back to life. So until then, don’t expect me to be engaged in life as if I was the me you once knew. And after then, who knows what I will be.
I consider gestation to be a time when the unborn fetus develops its human potentiality: it gains nourishment and builds strength until it ultimately takes its own breath of life. As the fetus is cared for, it absorbs knowledge and stimulates life-force energy. It fulfills no purpose other than the development of itself. Self-cultivation is my purpose, so designed in order to experience my rebirth.
Along the journey there are a few things I decided I must endeavor to learn:
- I am worthy and deserving of love, joy, and endless blessings.
- Although man made God in his own image, don’t be fooled: it was man who was made in the image of God. I am a divine energy. I am God.
- I have something to offer the world and in fulfilling my purpose, no matter how big or small it may be perceived to be by me or others, I am contributing to the perpetuation of life in the universe and I am complete.
- I have everything that I need already.
- Whatever it is, it is well.
- It’s okay if I live and others die.
- I will put God first by listening to the voice that speaks through my intuition and through signs. I will be still and listen and not let ego and vanity incite me to haste.
- I am no-thing and no-one. I am.