In observing the efforts of the Ministry of Health, through its “Don’t Get Caught Unpeeled” condom promotion, I was reminded of an aspect of promoting condom use that has nagged me for some time. It is an issue not usually discussed in public campaigns, if discussed any at all. It is an issue I call negotiating condom use, and I am particularly concerned about how these negotiations play out for sexually inexperienced or insecure women, under-age girls who are sexually active, and women in committed relationships.
For women and girls who are sexually active, what good is knowing the benefits of using a condom if you do not have the power to negotiate condom use?
As a matter of precaution, women should assume all men are averse to using a condom. Experience will show that even men who are open to condom use, do not like it, and will seize any and every opportunity to escape the plastic penis sock. This means every single sexual encounter becomes a negotiation. And men will test the strength of a woman’s commitment to her standards every time. The minute a woman lets up, a man will slip in. Given these dynamics, women need to be more aware when they enter sexual negotiations; they must be willing to assert their position with fortitude and authority; and above all else, they must be willing to sacrifice sex for the sake of safety and responsible decision making.